Relationship Goals: Part 2: Character Forming

Relationship Goals: Part 2: Character Forming | Amy Nicholson | 08 February 2026

*With thanks to Life.Church for the graphic and series concept

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Do people enjoy being around you?

This question sits at the heart of our Relationship Goals series, because every one of us is becoming someone - either by default or by design. God invites us to become people on purpose.

Becoming by Design, Not by Default

In 2 Corinthians 3:17–18 we read:

“Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom… And we all, who with unveiled faces contemplate the Lord’s glory, are being transformed into his image with ever‑increasing glory.”

If you follow Jesus, you have access to the Holy Spirit — and where the Spirit is, there is freedom. Not instant perfection, but progressive freedom. God is continually shaping us to become more like Him.

This transformation doesn’t happen by willpower alone. It happens as we live surrendered lives, allowing God to form our character day by day.

So the question isn’t “Who am I right now?” but “Who am I becoming?”

1. No One Becomes the Best Version of Themselves by Themselves

You may have heard someone say, “I don’t need church — I just need Jesus.” While it’s true that salvation is personal, formation is communal.

Scripture tells us that iron sharpens iron. Sharpening isn’t always comfortable. It involves friction. But it’s essential if we want to grow.

God uses community — life groups, friendships, worship gatherings — to shape us. We’re encouraged by one another’s faith, strengthened by prayer, and lovingly challenged when our thinking is off.

Left alone, we are incredibly good at lying to ourselves. Community helps expose those lies and replace them with truth.

If you want to become who God has called you to be, don’t do it alone.

2. Your Voices Determine Your Choices

Who you listen to matters.

What you consume matters.

The voices shaping you — podcasts, social media, Netflix, friendships — all influence the person you are becoming. As Scripture reminds us:

“Do not be misled: Bad company corrupts good character.” (1 Corinthians 15:33)

We live between two cultures:

• World culture, which often breaks down, distracts, divides, and promotes selfishness.

• Kingdom culture, which builds up, encourages, loves, serves, and makes space for people.

Who you listen to has license in your life. And over time, you become like the people and voices you allow closest to you.

A kingdom culture calls us to serve instead of self‑promote, to love our neighbour, and to stand out rather than blend in.

3. Everything About You Says Something About You

The way we speak, dress, act, listen, and respond communicates something — not just about us, but about Jesus.

Scripture says:

“We are therefore Christ’s ambassadors.” (2 Corinthians 5:20)

An ambassador represents someone else wherever they go. That means we don’t just reflect Jesus on Sundays — but on Mondays in boardrooms, classrooms, homes, and social spaces.

Are we approachable?

Are we warm?

Do our words and body language reflect the kindness, grace, and patience of Christ?

People may not yet know they need Jesus — but they are drawn to something different when they see His Spirit at work in us.

So, What Do We Do With This?

Start where we left off last week:

1. Read your Bible — begin with the Gospels and discover what Jesus is like.

2. Then do what it says.

Love your neighbour.

Be unhurried.

Look people in the eyes.

Choose kindness.

Refuse gossip.

Serve others.

As we behold Jesus, we become more like Him — and the world desperately needs people who reflect His love.

So once again, we ask:

Who are you becoming?

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Life Group Discussion Questions

1. What do you think it is like to be on the other side of you — at home, at work, at church, or in your friendships? If you are in a group setting with people you are comfortable with, you can ask each other this question.

2. In what ways are you currently becoming someone by default rather than by design?

3. Who are the primary voices shaping your thoughts, attitudes, and decisions right now? Are those voices helping you become more like Jesus?

4. Where do you experience Christian community (church, life group, friendships)? How is that community shaping you — and how open are you to being sharpened?

5. What is one simple, practical step you can take this week to not only read God’s Word, but do what it says?